Living Out Loud

Take a nap!

Restorative Slumber - The Importance of Napping

from The Daily Om

As we focus on the many obligations we gladly undertake in order to create the lives we want, sleep is often the first activity that we sacrifice. We’re compelled by both external and internal pressures to be productive during many of our waking hours. While this can lead to great feats of accomplishment, it also disrupts the body’s natural cycles and leaves us craving rest. Napping represents a pleasurable remedy to this widespread sleep deprivation.

Though judged by many as a pastime of little children or the lazy, the need for a nap is a trait that all mammals share and an acceptable part of the day in many countries. It is also a free and effortless way to improve our health and lift our spirits. A nap is relaxing and can improve our mood, vision, reflexes, and memory.

Lack of sleep, whether ongoing or the result of a single night’s wakefulness, puts stress on the body and mind. It can negatively impact your physical and mental health. At one time, napping was considered a natural part of life. In the past hundred years, however, electricity and modern conveniences have provided us with more time to engage in personal and professional activities. Consequently there is now less time for sleep.

A mere ten minutes of sleep in the middle of the day can leave you feeling more cheerful and alert. A half-hour long nap can sharpen your senses and refresh your energy reserves, and a shorter nap can even sustain you through a long day. Napping can help you make up for lost sleep and serves as a supplement to your usual sleep schedule. You may need to give yourself permission to nap by making naptime a part of your day.

Feelings of guilt about napping or being preoccupied with other activities can keep you awake when you are trying to take a nap. If you need help, surround yourself with soft pillows and blankets or soothing music. Try to take a nap at the same time each day and use an alarm clock to ensure that you don’t fall into too deep a sleep. Learning to nap and enjoying its benefits can help you reclaim your natural right to nap. You nourish your being every time you take a nap.

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Clearing a Space for Change

The weight of Objects - from The Daily Om

In life, we tend to have an easier time acquiring possessions than we do getting rid of them. Just as we harbor emotional baggage that is difficult to let go of, our lives can tend to be filled with material objects that we may feel compelled to hold on to. Most people are not conscious of how much they own and how many of their possessions are no longer adding value to their life. They fiercely hold on to material objects because this makes them feel secure or comfortable.

While it’s true that the ownership of “stuff” can make you feel good for awhile, it seldom satisfies the deep inner longings that nearly everyone has for fulfillment and satisfaction. It is only when we are ready to let go of our baggage and be vulnerable that it becomes possible to recognize the emotional hold that our possessions can have on us.

It’s not uncommon to hold on to material objects because we are attached to them or fear the empty spaces that will remain if we get rid of them. Giving away the souvenirs from a beloved voyage may feel like we are erasing the memory of that time in our life. We may also worry that our loved ones will feel hurt if we don’t keep the gifts they’ve given us. It’s easy to convince ourselves that unused possessions might come in handy someday or that parting with them will cause you emotional pain.

However, when your personal space is filled with objects, there is no room for anything new to enter and stay in your life. Your collection of belongings may “protect” you from the uncertainties of an unknown future while keeping you stuck in the past. Holding on to unnecessary possessions often goes hand in hand with holding on to pain, anger, and resentment, and letting go of your material possessions may help you release emotional baggage.

When you make a conscious decision to fill your personal space with only the objects that you need or bring you joy, your energy level will soar. Clearing your personal space can lead to mental clarity and an improved memory. As you learn to have a more practical and temporary relationship to objects, positive changes will happen, and you’ll have space to create the life that you desire.

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Spring clean your life

Choose to Let Go

(Excerpted from 365 Days to Let Go by Guy Finley)

To be able to touch and appreciate what is new, we are created to open up and, as needed, to let go of whatever is no longer useful... especially when it comes to our need to release those old feelings and worn out thoughts that first clog up, and then compromise, our hearts and minds. These tiresome states of ourselves have become "stuck" within us because we haven't learned how to release them.

Once we understand that letting go is the missing half of the whole happiness our heart longs for -- that it is a necessary and full partner in the power to discover and complete our True Self -- everything about our life grows easier.

Old regrets dry up and blow away. We awaken to a quiet kind of faith that fears nothing. New possibilities for us appear almost moment to moment because we've hung an "open for business" sign on the door of our life.

Let go of your grief

Grief can be a lonely place. When everything around you reminds you of a great loss, you might be finding it hard to imagine a time when you will ever feel happy again. It seems like no-one else could possibly understand what you're going through. But the truth is that they do - all too well!

There is a Buddhist story about a grieving woman who, having carried her dead son around for days, asked the Buddha to administer a cure to bring her dead son back to life. The Buddha told her that in order to do this he would need a mustard seed received from a household which had not borne the death of a loved one.

Of course, grief does not have to be about death. Grief is experienced when you lose something or someone that/who has played an important and meaningful role in your life.

However, death usually presents you with the most difficult grieving periods in your life. If it involves the loss of a child, parent or life partner it can become debilitating for a while. But the devastation you feel at these times need not become a permanent fixture in your life.

The woman in the story was delighted by the Buddha's promise and set off to find her seed. For days she went from house to house asking for a mustard seed. Many took pity on her and were willing to give her one, but whenever she asked the question "Has your family ever known death?" the response was always "yes". Every home she visited had lost a family member.

Eventually the woman realised how impossible her task was, and returned to the Buddha. She acknowledged the universality of death and its associated grief.

There are two important things to remember at a time of grieving:

• No matter how lonely you might feel right now, you are not alone. There is in fact a vast network of people out there who can empathise with you, help you to move through your grief and begin to look forward again with hope.

• This too will pass. Everything we experience in life is temporary. Life itself is temporary. And so is grief.

We really and truly can get over anything, even the unimaginable. People do it every day.

It is a process though, and it does take time. Here are three steps to help you.

1. Want to move forwards!

The difference between someone who moves through grief and someone who gets stuck in it is making the decision to let go of your loss and to look for a way to move forwards.

Yes, I am aware that this is much easier said than done. If you are feeling stuck ask yourself how is this grief serving you? If your grief is related to a death, is this what your loved one would want for you?

The Buddha said to the grieving woman:

"Your sorrow accomplished nothing for your son. Be prepared, for you will suffer many other deaths in your time, and some day your own."

In this story, what helped the woman to let go of her grief was hearing the stories of others and realising that her experience, while devastating to her in that moment, was a normal part of mortal life, and shared by all.

When you share your grief with others, listen to their own stories, and learn how they came through their own tragedies, it can restore your courage and strength and give you hope for the future.

What you need to do here is quite simple and very powerful: decide to reach out and connect with others who can help you.

2. Identify all the people you could potentially talk to about your loss.

• Friends or family members?
• Someone who has been in a similar situation who can empathise with what you're going through?
• Support groups you could join?
• Bereavement counsellor?
• Online forum?

Once you have as full a list as possible of all the people you could connect with, decide who you will connect with. It doesn't have to be everyone on your list. As you look it over, where does your heart lean towards?

Choose one or two people (or groups) and write down what you need to do to practically make that connection. It might be as simple as picking up the phone and ringing your best friend. Or it may involve an online search for bereavement counselling services in your area.

Whatever it is, write it down. This increases your commitment to taking the action.

Then take a deep breath, and do it.

3. Remind yourself - often - that "this too will pass".

When you're ready to embrace it, something new and wonderful will come into your life to fill the space that's been created. The woman in the story became a disciple of the Buddha and found inner peace.

You may not be able to (or even want to) imagine that for yourself right now. But the possibility of experiencing joy is open to us each and every day of our lives. Remember the Buddha's words. Your suffering accomplishes nothing for your dear departed. And wouldn't they choose joy, happiness and inner peace for you instead?

Seize the day, dammit!

(part of the Happy Friday series)

5 tips by Karen Salmansohn

If there is an honest conversation you need to share, DO IT. Today! Live without regret. Speak from your heart. Know: the better your communication with others, the better your life. Know: The more love you have in your life, the happier and more meaningful your life.

Believe in FORGIVENESS AND FORGETNESS. Stop carrying grudges. They simply weigh you down. Indeed, Carrie Fisher said it amusingly well when she said: Resentment is the poison you swallow hoping the other person will die. Today think about who you need to forgive, and let go of these bitter attachments.

Appreciate the people you love, by letting them know what you adore about them. Live with Emile Zolas philosophy in mind: I CAME INTO THIS WORLD TO LIVE OUT LOUD. Today share with friends and family the specifics of what you appreciate about them. Count your blessings out loud to them.

In "The Tibetan Book Of Living and Dying," author Rinpoche warns about the Western tendency for ACTIVE LAZINESS, our need to cram our lives compulsively with a myriad of unimportant activities, leaving little time to confront what really matters. He jokingly renames the petty projects we call our RESPONSIBILITIES as our IRRESPONSIBILITIES. Today ask yourself how might you edit down your TO DO LIST to a WHAT MATTERS MOST TO DO LIST? Are you finding time to be with the people you love -- and the time for doing the passions you love?

Give back to the world. I mean this both in the obvious ways of altruism and volunteerism -- which are essential to creating a happy, meaningful life. Plus, I also mean this in those the less obvious -- but still important ways -- of giving of yourself -- your true self -- your heart, thoughts, talents -- share it all. After all: Everything that is not given, is lost. Every thought and feeling we ever have, every beautiful sight we ever see, every material possession we own, every talent we possess, will ultimately be lost. UNLESS WE SHARE IT.

Today ask yourself how deeply and intimately you are connecting with those most important to you? Which brings to mind a favorite metaphor - the one about the pebble in a pond. It's as if each of us are tossing the pebble of ourselves into the pond of life, and ripples are created. If we hoard ourselves - our love, our thoughts, our feelings, our insights, our words, our gifts, our talents - we will make a very little splash, and the ripples will soon end. But if we give fully, with abandon and abundance, the ripples will go out infinitely, overlapping and intermingling with others.

With this in mind, ask yourself: What kind of ripple do you want to be? Seize the day, dammit!

You can subscribe to Karen's not your ordinary newsletter here

Laugh...

(part of the Happy Friday series)

"Our five senses are not enough for ideal living. We need to use our sixth sense: our sense of humor." ~ Chuck Gallozi

Do I have to sell this one?

Surely not...

But just in case:

• Laughter releases endorphins, the feel-good hormones which aid a sense of relaxation and promote a sense of well-being - ie. laughter makes you feel happier.

• "Laughter is the best medicine." It lowers blood pressure, reduces stress hormones and boosts your immune system.

• Laughter dissolves tension, anxiety, irritation, anger, grief, and depression - ie. laughter makes you feel happier.

• Laughter lowers inhibitions, allowing the release of pent-up emotions.

• Laughter helps people to bond with one another.

And that's just the tip of the ice-berg. I'm sure you could rattle off your own very long list of benefits.

But before you start thinking about horses and carts, and chickens and eggs, let me say that you do not have to be on top of the world to indulge in a bout of laughter. You just have to distract yourself from whatever else is occupying your attention and engage in an activity that generally makes you laugh.

So, hire an entire series of your favourite sit-com on DVD, buy a good joke book, or indulge in some really silly antics with your very best friends. Whatever floats your boat, just be sure you laugh as much as possible.

No excuses now. "Just do it!" ~ Nike.

And to get you started:

When Grandma Goes to Court

Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.

In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, "Mrs Jones, do you know me?" She responded, "Why, yes I do know you Mr Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frnakly, you've been a big disappontment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realise you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I do know you."

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"

She again replied, "Why yes, I do. I've known Mr Bradley since he was a youngster too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him."

The defense attorney nearly died.

The judge asked both counsellors to approach the bench, and in a very quiet voice said, "If either of you idiots asks her is she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair."

Happy laughing : )

Stop resisting stuff

(part of the Happy Friday series)

What you resist persists.

This isn’t my opinion, it’s a spiritual law. I can tell you though that I have plenty of personal experience to back it up! If you think about it, I’m sure you’ll find you do too.

What is meant by resistance is not wanting what you currently have in your life, or focusing on the lack of what you do want. It’s the good old Law of Attraction at work again. Your thoughts, feelings and actions – the vibrations you offer out into the Universe – attracting like energy back to you – events and experiences that match your vibration.

Therefore, if there is a situation in your life that you are struggling with, either mentally, physically or emotionally, you are impeding your own ability to move through it. What you want to be rid of, you are continually attracting back to you. Or if it’s a lack of something you’re focussing on, then you’re continually attracting that lack to you.

So, what to do?

Accept the present as it is, that’s what!

“Accept the present and intend the future.” ~ Deepak Chopra

Intending the future is being clear about how you would like things to be, and trusting that they will in fact work out that way, or even better, eventhough right now it’s not looking all that likely.

Easier said than done? Definitely.

Do-able? Absolutely.

How? Well, I’m sure different people have different techniques for that, and really whatever works best for you is just fine. Personally, I always use affirmations when I become conscious that I’m resisting something. By using affirmations appropriate to the situation, I begin to change my thoughts about it and consequently change the vibration I’m putting out there.

If you want to try this technique ~

1. Write out an affirmation (or several) that resonates with you
2. Post them on your fridge, bathroom mirror, inside your front door, car dashboard – anywhere that you’ll get to see and read them several times a day.
3. Recite them as often as possible – with positive feeling

If you’re new to using affirmations, it might (scratch that, it probably will) feel a bit silly to begin with. Especially as what you’re declaring doesn’t match what you believe and feel.

Yet!

But repeated use of affirmations can have a very calming effect. AND they help you to change your beliefs, and build your sense of trust in yourself and the Universe.

Here are some of my favourites:

“It is the way it is. I accept that.” ~ Stuart Wilde

“I do not struggle against the whole universe by struggling against this moment. My acceptance is total and complete. I accept things as they are this moment, not as I wish they were.” ~ Deepak Chopra

“All is well, no matter what it looks like. It’s all happening perfectly.” ~ Susan Jeffers

“I am safe; it’s only change. I cross all bridges with joy and ease. The ‘old’ unfolds into wonderful new experiences.” ~ Louise L Hay

“I do not resist this situation. I put it in the hands of Infinite Love and Wisdom and let the divine idea now come to pass.” ~ Florence Scovell Shinn

“I am at peace. I trust it will all work out perfectly.” ~ Hilda Carroll ;-)

There are two keys to using affirmations:

1. Repetition
2. Feelings

As you’re reciting them, feel the feelings as though the future you’re intending has already manifested in the present. (yes, really!)

Ya, ya, I can hear your loud objections from here. But you can do this – all it takes is practice. And if you do practice this it will help you to accept the present as it is. And when you accept it, you will feel better about it. It think that’s what they call a virtuos circle ;-)

Well it beats a vicious circle, doesn’t it! And let me tell you, if you choose resistance over acceptance the vicious circle is where you’re more likely to get stuck.

My challenge as ever: try it for a week (with an open mind), and see how you get on!

(For a short and helpful post on how affirmations work, read this on Kirsten Harrell’s site. She has a tonne of affirmations for you to choose from too.)

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Accept the present as it is

"Shine" your way to happiness with uplifting music

(a part of the Happy Friday series)

I’m sure if I did a search I could find numerous studies out there that have proven the effects of music on our moods. But I’m not going to go to that trouble because I’m also fairly certain that you’ve all experienced it for yourself.

The point I am going to try and sell on though, is the importance of the lyrics as well as the tone of the music. You really do want both to be uplifting!

When the music itself is upbeat, your spirits are uplifted. That’s what you already know. But if you’re not a dedicated follower of the Law of Attraction, you might not be aware of the importance that lyrics have also.

All of your words are very powerful. What you say about yourself and your life is a vibration you are offering to the Universe and you’re going to attract like energy back. Words that you express with feeling will manifest in physical reality with greater speed. When you sing to upbeat, uplifting music, the lyrics you’re reciting offer a very powerful vibration. So be careful that the lyrics you’re offering reflect what you want in your life!

Choose the songs you sing out loud to with great care.

Last summer I started a project here called Songs to make your Heart sing. I wanted to make a compilation of songs that did just that for me, and I asked for help in coming up with as big a list as possible. Afterwards I made my own personal choices from the list taking not only the music but also the lyrics into consideration. Why not ask your friends to help you do something similar? Or if you want a kick-start check out the playlist suggested by those who took part in my project.

My own nomination for the playlist was Shine by Take That. Click below to see the video. The lyrics are further below. I think they are fabulous, and I always sing them from the perspective of my Higher Self (she who knows and trusts that all is well) speaking to my Ego (she who resists the present moment rather than accepting it).

For me, it creates a wonderful shift in my energy and my thought process. Why not try it and see for yourself?

You, you're such a big star to me
You're everything I wanna be
But you're stuck in a hole and I want you to get out
I don't know what there is to see
But I know it's time for you to leave
We're all just pushing along
Trying to figure it out, out, out.

All your anticipation pulls you down
When you can have it all, you can have it all.

So come on, so come on, get it on
Don't know what you're waiting for
Your time is coming don't be late, hey hey
So come on
See the light on your face
Let it shine
Just let it shine
Let it shine.

Stop being so hard on yourself
It's not good for your health
I know that you can change
So clear your head and come around
You only have to open your eyes
You might just get a big surprise
And it may feel good and you might want to smile, smile, smile.

Don't you let your demons pull you down
'Cause you can have it all, you can have it all.

Hey let me know you
You're all that matters to me
Hey let me show you
You're all that matters to me.

Hey let me love you
You're all that matters to me
Hey let me love you
You're all that matters to me

So come on
See the light on your face
Let it shine
Just let it shine
Let it shine.

Commune with Nature

part of the Happy Friday series)

photo by Kirsten Harrell (a selection of Kirsten's photos are now available as calendars, note pads, mugs, posters and framed prints - check them out here)

Slow down

(part of the Happy Friday series, posted on Sunday - oops!)

Slow down, you move too fast
You've got to make the morning last
Just kickin' down the cobble stones
Looking for fun and feelin' groovy!

~ Simon & Garfunkel