Rambling through life

A comment about rambling on Megan's post about authenticity and redefinition deeply resonated with me.  I realised "rambling" is exactly what I've been doing the last few years.  And it's been an absolute joy! 

I know it's not the modern Western way, but I don't have much of a plan for my life!  When I was a practicing life coach, I was great at setting myself clear goals - and encouraged clients and friends to do likewise!  But whenever I set myself a plan of action, I often found it turning into a mountain of "shoulds".  And "shoulds" drain my energy and create resistance, and usually I would end up abandoning the plan.  And what was worse, the abandonment was often unconscious, and brought a resulting feeling of shame with it. 

But over the last few years I've paid more attention to the fundamental intentions underlying my various goals.  And I've found the specific goals shifting and evolving at such a fast rate, that I just can't take them too seriously anymore.  And since I've stopped tying myself to various targets (and especially conventional goals) I've felt less pressure, stress and anxiety about where it is I'm going.

Instead, I find myself more and more open to allowing things to unfold, and trusting that they're all happening perfectly for me.  That's not to say that I don't still want various outcomes at different times.  I most certainly do!  But somehow I'm managing to not become too attached, or to eventually release my attachments, and allow what I want for myself to evolve. 

It's been a surprising journey to say the least.  But it's been wonderful too.  I'm really enjoying my life.  I don't have alot of the conventional securities that almost everyone I know has, or indeed much of a structure to my life. 

I do still have dreams and desires, and I am pursuing them according to what feels right in the moment, for as long as it feels right to do so.  And when a shift kicks in and it starts to feel like I need to take a detour, I take it.  Sometimes that detour still takes me towards the same destination (just in a more roundabout way), and sometimes it leads me in a whole new direction. 

So what! I've learned to stop worrying about where I'll end up.  Because there's simply no way of knowing!  Even if I had a rigid plan that I sticked to consistently, day in day out, there'd be no guarantee I'd end up in the place where I expected to be.  Our lives can change, beyond complete recognition, in a heartbeat. 

Everytime I catch myself beginning to become embroiled in the whole business of conventional expectations, I remind myself of this irrefutable truth.  And it returns me to a place of peace and restores my ability to trust that where I am is exactly where I'm meant to be.

My over-riding, non-changing desires for my life are based around states of being.  Being happy, being centred in the energy of love, being connected to others, being in abundance, being at peace.  And none of these states require achieving any specific targets.  Having-ness will result in the ways that are best aligned with and best support the states of being I create for myself. 

Some of those outcomes will resemble the people and things I consciously chose, and some of them will be complete surprises.  Some of those outcomes will come easily, and some will come after I let go of suffering of my own creation (from being too attached to how things come about). 

While I hope that for the most part I find the path easy enough, I accept there will be rough patches along the way.  I have no idea where I'm going, or how I'm going to get there.  I'm sticking with my clear intentions of how I want to 'be' in this world, but my only 'plan' (for now!) is to continue rambling my way through life. ;-)

Comments

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What a great way to live life. I think that a lot of people's anxities/disorders are rooted in this 'but my life isn't going like I thought it should'. I think that the moment that we 'stop squeezing a bar of soap' that it becomes a lot easier to manage. Thank you for writing this.

[Lance]

Hilda,
What I'm really drawn to here is that there is this real feel of your "heart", and that it deeply matters that the connection to heart is there. Beyond all the "I should do this" or "I should do that" - I think it really comes down to what feels right for each of us. You are doing that, and it's so great to see!

[Evelyn Lim]

It has been pretty much my experience too! I may start the year with a new set of resolutions but find that my journey having a life of its own taking me to areas that I least expect. These days, I forget about dictating how "things" turn out for me. Setting intents work better for me. I also leave space for surprising turns, as my journey unfolds.

[Tom Bailey]

It sounds like you are VERY clear on where you are and what you are doing and that leaves open finding something more that might really inspire you at even higher levels. Sometimes and keep this a secret I take on things as truth that are not really truth for the sole purpose of creating something more powerful. Pretending I have more control over situations and goals than I really might do and ignoring opposing forces that are there. But I only do this for things that I am really willing to be extreme about.

I share this not as something for you to do but to see as something that is possible to have as a viewpoint.

I love the genuine way that you are always willing to share.

Kindest regards,
Tom Bailey

[Hilda]

Hi Mish,

I agree, shoulds - whether they're attached to activities or people - are one of the most draining things we carry around with us. And it is a choice - although usually an unconsious one - to carry that burden. When we let it go, it's very freeing.

Lance, I've known for a long time that the only thing I "should" do is follow my heart, do what feels right in the moment. But knowing that hasn't always been aligned with the courage to live it. But thankfully, the last 9 months or so I have been living very much in that space. And it is really wonderful :-)

Evelyn, I think that's key, what you said about leaving space for surprises. For me intention setting is way more powerful than goal-setting, but only when I remember to leave that space and not get too attached to *how* the intention manifests.

Hi Tom,

Thanks so much for dropping by and for your thoughtful comment. Whenever I've tried to consciously do this I haven't had much success. I think I might subconsciously sabotage myself because I don't really like extremes and also, because there is a lurking fear of success there that I haven't yet conquered! But you have got me to thinking about whether it might be time to stretch myself a little bit more...

[John]

Bang on. I get so exhusted by the clamoring for certainty - "where do you see yourself twenty years from now?" "What is your five-year-plan?" - and the looks of dismay when I respond that I have no idea about either, and moreover, don't care very much. There is something askew in this world when the goal of being well centred and happy is somehow defficient as compared to the goal of having a cottage on a lake and two kids who will probably make enough money to take care of me when I get old.