This is the start of a new series of posts, which may take a while to get through. It is intended to be a series of tips to help improve your inner state of happiness and wellbeing. 26 posts, maybe 26 weeks, or longer...
It will be in chronological order, so we're kicking of with
A is for...
Accepting the present as it is
Ok, maybe it’s not perfect, but it is your reality for now. In all probability though, it will not be your reality forever. As the immortal saying goes, “this too will pass”.
However, there is an important universal law to observe which simply states that which you resist persists. It’s a derivative of the Law of Attraction which in its simplest form is about your experiences in your life reflecting the energy you put out into the world. That energy comes from your thoughts, and most especially your feelings.
If your energy is focused on struggling with a situation in your life, you will continue to attract that struggle. Resisting your present circumstances in your life usually sets up a mindset of worry about your future, and places stress on your mental, physical, emotional and spiritual well-being in the present. It reduces the capacity of your inner resources to deal with the situation in a creative, constructive manner. The more depleted your inner resources are the more difficult it will be for you to cope with the situation, find solutions and move beyond it.
When you accept that this is the reality you have to deal with for now, you free up your energy and your inner strength to move through the situation rather than getting stuck in it. Acceptance is not the same as ignoring the circumstance. It means acknowledging the full truth about what is going on for you right now, what the gap is between where you are and where you want to be. From there you can identify what needs to happen in order for you to move in that direction.
Resistance keeps you stuck where you are. Acceptance empowers you to move forward.
Affirmations
Affirmations are statements that positively declare that a circumstance or experience you wish to have is already your true reality. When practised repeatedly, and with intent, over time affirmations can help to reprogramme your beliefs. When we come to B is for... we'll look at beliefs in more depth, but for now let's just say that whatever you believe to be true will be true for you, and so it is important to positively affirm to yourself that you are as you wish to be and your life is as you wish it to be.
When people first start working with affirmations, they commonly feel silly and fake. This is because they're affirming the existence of a circumstance that is not yet true for them. The trick is to ignore these silly and fake sensations and repeat your affirmations anyway. With patience and practice they will help to bring about a shift in your outlook, perspective and how you feel. They will help you to relax, release your worries and develop a trust that no matter what happens all will be well.
One of my favourite affirmations when I catch myself worrying about something is borrowed from Florence Scovel Shinn:
"I do not resist this situation. I put it in the hands of Infinite Love and Wisdom and let the Divine idea now come to pass."
When I first started working with it, I used to have to recite it over and over before I would start to relax and let go. Now I just have to use it once and I immediately trust that a solution will come to me at the right time. And it always does : )
To write your own affirmations, think about how you wish to be or what you want to have or experience. Then state it in the present tense using only positive terms. This is important because your subconscious mind does not recognise negative statements and it will reinforce your experience of what you put your attention on whether you do so positively or negatively.
For example, affirming "I am happy and well" will draw your attention to the states of happiness and wellness, but "I am not depressed anymore" will keep your attention on the state of being depressed. So, no shift from the unhappy state to a happier one.
To get started on affirmations it can help to borrow some great ones that are already out there. Once you get in the habit of using them regularly you'll be easily able to create your own in an instant to suit whatever need arises. For some ideas try these resources:
The Game of Life and how to play it by Florence Scovel Shinn
Your Word is your Wand by Florence Scovel Shinn
You can Heal your Life by Louise Hay
Attention & The Law of Attraction
"Our thoughts create our reality -- where we put our focus is the direction we tend to go." ~ Peter McWilliams
Or to simplify the quote above: energy flows where attention goes! If you want to feel happier you need to put your attention on the more positive aspects of your life and less attention on the negative.
According to the Law of Attraction, your attention is an energy that magnitises to you people, things, events and circumstances that match that energy. So, if you put your attention on things that you love, enjoy and appreciate, you attract more of those wonderful things and even more wonderful things that you will love, enjoy and appreciate.
And the same principle applies when you put your attention on that which you wish to have less of, or not-at-all of!
Therefore, to be happier, put your attention on the people, events, and experiences that boost your happiness. Appreciate them (ooh - another A!) We'll look at this again when we come to G is for Gratitude...
Attitude
"An attitude of gratitude can fend off any saditude." ~ Karen Salmanson
Attitude is King! It's what makes the difference between barely surviving challenging times and thriving despite them.
If you can maintain a positive attitude when the going gets tough, you can actually be happy eventhough some (or even all) aspects of your life suck right now. I suppose it really ties in with the first point - accepting your situation for now. Accept it but don't let it beat you down.
When your attitude is can-do - no matter what happens - then you don't get sucked into a negative thought spiral about the sucky circumstance. With a can-do attitude you will have positive thoughts, and positive thoughts lead to positive feelings.
We'll deal with this in much greater detail when we get to T is for.... But for now, the important thing to remember is that your attitude programmes the way you think about things. And if you want to be happier you need to think happy thoughts. Kinda simple really ;-) Such a shame that simple doesn't always mean easy! But luckily, practice makes things easier.
Those are my ideas under the "A" category for imroving your happiness. I hope you'll practice some of these tips, and if you have any others to share I'd love to hear them.
Hi Hilda,
I love this post and how you are going through the alphabet to help people find happiness. Great job! I look forward to read B-Z! :)
Posted by: Nadia - Happy Lotus | April 09, 2009 at 12:14 AM
Hi Nadia,
Thanks for this and apologies for the delay in replying. (Actually, I did reply last week but something funny is happening with my comments and some of them disappear into a black hole)
I've half written a book on this, but haven't finished a single letter yet (except for A now!). I'm hoping that by blogging the series instead I'll be less concerned about having it all perfect, and more focussed on just writing it ;-)
B will be out in the next few days...
Posted by: Hilda | April 17, 2009 at 03:32 PM