Living Out Loud

All is well, no matter what it looks like

(A Thought for the Week)

"Whatever relationships you have attracted in your life at this moment, are precisely the ones you need in your life at this moment. There is a hidden meaning behind all events, and this hidden meaning is serving your own evolution." ~ Deepak Chopra

"A jug fills drop by drop." ~ Buddha

"Your joy is divine and so is your suffering. There's so much to be learned from both." ~ Wayne Dyer

"I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be." ~ Douglas Adams

"Life has to be lived forwards, but it only makes sense backwards." ~ Rod Briggs

"All is well, no matter what it looks like. It's all happening perfectly." ~ Susan Jeffers

You can view my Thoughts archive here

Step into the field of all possibilities

(a Thought for the Week)

"Uncertainty is the only certainty there is, and knowing how to live with insecurity is the only security." ~ John Allen Paulos

"Impossible is a word humans use far too often." ~ Jeri Ryan

"Our aspirations are our possibilities." ~ Samuel Johnson

"Relinquish your attachment to the known, step into the unknown, and you will step into the field of all possibilities." ~ Deepak Chopra

Stop resisting stuff

(part of the Happy Friday series)

What you resist persists.

This isn’t my opinion, it’s a spiritual law. I can tell you though that I have plenty of personal experience to back it up! If you think about it, I’m sure you’ll find you do too.

What is meant by resistance is not wanting what you currently have in your life, or focusing on the lack of what you do want. It’s the good old Law of Attraction at work again. Your thoughts, feelings and actions – the vibrations you offer out into the Universe – attracting like energy back to you – events and experiences that match your vibration.

Therefore, if there is a situation in your life that you are struggling with, either mentally, physically or emotionally, you are impeding your own ability to move through it. What you want to be rid of, you are continually attracting back to you. Or if it’s a lack of something you’re focussing on, then you’re continually attracting that lack to you.

So, what to do?

Accept the present as it is, that’s what!

“Accept the present and intend the future.” ~ Deepak Chopra

Intending the future is being clear about how you would like things to be, and trusting that they will in fact work out that way, or even better, eventhough right now it’s not looking all that likely.

Easier said than done? Definitely.

Do-able? Absolutely.

How? Well, I’m sure different people have different techniques for that, and really whatever works best for you is just fine. Personally, I always use affirmations when I become conscious that I’m resisting something. By using affirmations appropriate to the situation, I begin to change my thoughts about it and consequently change the vibration I’m putting out there.

If you want to try this technique ~

1. Write out an affirmation (or several) that resonates with you
2. Post them on your fridge, bathroom mirror, inside your front door, car dashboard – anywhere that you’ll get to see and read them several times a day.
3. Recite them as often as possible – with positive feeling

If you’re new to using affirmations, it might (scratch that, it probably will) feel a bit silly to begin with. Especially as what you’re declaring doesn’t match what you believe and feel.

Yet!

But repeated use of affirmations can have a very calming effect. AND they help you to change your beliefs, and build your sense of trust in yourself and the Universe.

Here are some of my favourites:

“It is the way it is. I accept that.” ~ Stuart Wilde

“I do not struggle against the whole universe by struggling against this moment. My acceptance is total and complete. I accept things as they are this moment, not as I wish they were.” ~ Deepak Chopra

“All is well, no matter what it looks like. It’s all happening perfectly.” ~ Susan Jeffers

“I am safe; it’s only change. I cross all bridges with joy and ease. The ‘old’ unfolds into wonderful new experiences.” ~ Louise L Hay

“I do not resist this situation. I put it in the hands of Infinite Love and Wisdom and let the divine idea now come to pass.” ~ Florence Scovell Shinn

“I am at peace. I trust it will all work out perfectly.” ~ Hilda Carroll ;-)

There are two keys to using affirmations:

1. Repetition
2. Feelings

As you’re reciting them, feel the feelings as though the future you’re intending has already manifested in the present. (yes, really!)

Ya, ya, I can hear your loud objections from here. But you can do this – all it takes is practice. And if you do practice this it will help you to accept the present as it is. And when you accept it, you will feel better about it. It think that’s what they call a virtuos circle ;-)

Well it beats a vicious circle, doesn’t it! And let me tell you, if you choose resistance over acceptance the vicious circle is where you’re more likely to get stuck.

My challenge as ever: try it for a week (with an open mind), and see how you get on!

(For a short and helpful post on how affirmations work, read this on Kirsten Harrell’s site. She has a tonne of affirmations for you to choose from too.)

Similar Posts:

Accept the present as it is

All is well

“All is well, no matter what it looks like. It’s all happening perfectly.”

This is an affirmation offered by either Louise Hay or Susan Jeffers. Apologies for not being certain where I borrowed it from, but I do use it on a regular basis. It helps me to stay grounded in the present moment, and to stop worrying about how things may or may not work out in the future.

It also helps me to remember that there is a blessing disguised in every challenging situation and experience. I am reminded to look for the silver lining, instead of feeling sorry for myself. (Though in all honesty I have to admit that I do usually indulge myself in a small bit of self-pity for a while too – you move through your negative feelings more quickly when you allow yourself to feel them rather than repress them).

“Along with the sunshine, there’s gotta be a little rain sometimes.” ~ Lynn Anderson

For growth in nature, both sunshine and rain are required. For our own growth this is just as true. We need ups and downs. Without the downs, we wouldn’t appreciate the ups. Because they have a tendency to stop us in our tracks, we’re also a lot more likely to become introspective and learn from the downs. And those lessons empower us to create more and more ups in our lives. And so, it is all good!

“Life is a rollercoaster, you just gotta ride it.” ~ Ronan Keating

The secret to enjoying a rollercoaster ride is to relax, knowing and trusting that you won’t crash-land but will slowly start to ascend upwards again. Eventhough it feels scary, you are perfectly safe. It’s the same with everything you experience in life. When hitting a scary or rough patch, don’t struggle or resist it. Relax, trust that you are safe. Accept the present as it is, knowing that this too will pass.

Everything is temporary. And everything serves a purpose, even if it is not immediately evident where the path you’re on is taking you. All will be revealed in good time, and you may be delighted as well as surprised by where you end up.

As Louise (or Susan?) reminds us, all is well – no matter what it looks like. It’s all happening perfectly : )

Give what you want to receive

(part of the Happy Friday series)

"What you sow is what you reap."

We all know (don't we?) that the energy we put out into the world comes right back to us. The experiences we have in our lives are always reflecting our thoughts and feelings - the energy we are emitting. Well, that is my belief anyway.

And according to the Law of Attraction, it doesn't really matter whether you believe it or not. It still affects your every experience in life. If you're not already sold on the idea, try paying attention to what you're thinking and feeling over the coming week, and notice what's going on in your life at the same time. You'll be amazed at the corelation!

Whatever it is you want to receive more of in your life, try giving more of that to those around you. Give love, money, attention, support and you will receive love, money, attention and support – just so long as you give it from a place of genuine love and caring for others. This is absolutely key.

Give what you want to receive, but don't give in order to receive.

If you give in order to receive, you will negate the receiving effect. This is because your underlying intention is based in a feeling of lack - that is the energy you’re emitting and therefore you will continue to attract that lack.

But when you focus on genuinely seeking to help and serve others, you will discover, in many surprising ways, that you are receiving much of the same - and often much, much more - back into your own life.

If you're new to the Law of Attraction, why not try this as an experiment over the coming week and share your experiences here?

Hooray for Butterflies

I have been so disconnected from my centre for such a long time. And the sad thing is I didn’t even realise it.

The magical synchronicities were few and far between, things weren’t working out as beautifully as I’d become accustomed to, and there were no butterflies. (For me, the sight of butterflies, either in physical or artistic form, is the Universe’s way of tapping me on my shoulder and letting me know I’m not alone)

Instead of sailing along and trusting that all is well, I had to work hard to feel at peace, reminding myself constantly that all was well instead of feeling it instinctively.

I found myself struggling with things instead of flowing along with my usual ease. I, a life coach with a Discover your Dream Job programme, couldn’t figure out where I wanted to go next with my own career - seriously out of integrity! The only thing I did feel sure about on that front was that I wanted my writing to become more central. But then I found myself struggling to write. And a new relationship, instead of blossoming blissfully, was fraught with difficulties. As I fretted, it floundered and finally fell apart.

But for some reason I was not aware of the disconnection. I was very aware that things weren’t as free-flowing as normal, but I forgot that the outer always reflects the inner. I fretted about why the outer was as it was, instead of breathing deep, trusting that all will be well, and letting go. Very remiss of me…

I only began to join the dots after recently embarking on a programme of decluttering. Suddenly things were looking up again, the synchronicities were more frequent and there was clarity.

It was the re-emergence of the butterflies that helped the penny to finally drop. When they started to come back into my life – or to be very truthful, I started to notice the ones I was already surrounded by and was just not seeing - I realised just how disconnected I had been. I realised it with profound gratitude, because I knew I was reconnecting again.

In clearing my clutter my energy was becoming unstuck and I started to find my way back to my centre. And I started to ask myself what happened. When and where did I start to lose my way? I’ve traced it back to moving house last July. I might save the list of reasons as to why that is for another post. But let me just say here that I don’t believe in coincidences and I am convinced that the energy in my home is not quite right for me.

So I’m going to change it. When I’ve completely finished the Great Declutter I’m going to do a space clearing ceremony to "cleanse and purify the chi" of my home.

What else has clicked for me since my clarity improved? Well, I remembered that my meditation practice was so much better before the move. In my last home I easily meditated for fifteen to twenty minutes every morning. Since I moved here I’ve been struggling to do five minutes. At the time of the move I wondered if I were missing the view of a tree from my old bedroom window, but now I’m wondering if a change of energy might be more instrumental. At least I’m hoping that a new change in energy will help improve things on that front.

Did you notice something important there? I was aware of the change in my meditation practice at the time, but instead of focussing on finding a solution I kinda let it slide. I made do with the five minutes a day (well all the teachers say it is better than nothing). There, I think, was the slippery slope that lead to my gradual and progressive disconnection.

Then a few months down the line I stopped writing out my daily intentions and affirmations. I still set them (the intentions) and recited them (the affirmations), but I took a lazier approach to it than before. What I used to do, and it worked for me oh so beautifully, is I used to write them out in full while having breakfast, then go upstairs, read the intentions, meditate, then read the affirmations.

Since the end of November I’ve been short-circuiting that process big time. Before I got out of bed at all, I would do a quick run-through of my intentions for the day in my head, meditate for barely five minutes, and maybe do a quick run-through of my affirmations. The whole process would take me less than ten minutes and would be barely mindful. No wonder my connection to my spirit was so weak…

But the bit that has me really confused is this. During the last six months I’ve gotten to know myself a lot better. I’ve tapped into some fears, well lots of fears actually, that I had hidden under ambivalence. In some areas of my life I definitely have a much greater self-awareness.

And this was achieved during a time that I was not that in tune with my higher self. I’m trying to tie the two together logically, and I’m not managing to make sense of it. But then maybe I should just let go of the logic – focussing on logic over feelings always leads me away from my peaceful core.

Maybe I was meant to stray away from my inner peace. If I’d been going with the flow more, experiencing lots of magic and easily trusting that I was on the right path, then the hard questions may have just floated over my head instead of digging so deep.

One of my interests is kayaking, and though we generally go with the flow on a river, occasionally you have to paddle upstream just an itty bit in order to have the best angle of approach to a particular feature. I wonder if that’s what was going on with me? I certainly believe that whatever happens is meant to happen, even if that does mean I occasionally stray away from my own centre.

And so, while I recognise now that I’ve been in the wilderness for a bit, I’m not sorry to have gone there. I did learn lots of interesting things about myself, and I’ve also learned the importance of not taking short-cuts! Well, with the important things in life, there are no short-cuts really ; )

And now I’m coming home, back to a place where I feel joy and peace effortlessly, but with a stronger self-awareness than I had before. All is good.

And how have I done it? I’ve re-established the routine of writing out my daily intentions and affirmations. I remembered some good advice from Judith Morgan and I’ve embarked on an Extreme Self Care spree. After a gym workout I treat myself to a dose of the jacuzzi - bliss! I had a long overdue shiatsu session, and I’m looking forward to another on Tuesday. I had a consciousness shifting session, which was a new experience for me but I think I’ll be going back for more. I had an energetic massage which was also well overdue, and I’ve renewed my intention to make that a more regular treat. (Don't be fooled by the word "energetic" there, it's a delightfully relaxing and pampering indulgence, with the added benefit of leaving your energy chakras rebalanced)

And I’m still decluttering. A bit here and a bit there. And every bit makes a perceptible difference to my energy. My sense of peace is being restored. And I’m now facing two weeks school holidays (a recent teaching stint having come from my career conundrum) during which time I will complete the declutter and perform the space clearing ritual. I’m breathing more deeply already.

I’ve gone from feeling stuck in limbo to having a strong sense of moving forwards, eventhough I’m still not sure where I’m headed. But I know I’m going somewhere and I’m much more at peace with the not-knowing-where than I have been of late : )

Develop an attitude of Gratitude

Gratitude is one of the most powerful happiness boosters you could ever experience. When you are being grateful, you are putting positive attention on the things in your life that you are pleased to be experiencing. And when you notice the good things, you feel good.

When you notice the good things every day, you feel great!

What’s more, gratitude is also a happiness magnet because what we focus on grows. If you’re familiar with the law of attraction, you’ll be aware that the more positive things you focus on in your life the more of that comes your way. Likewise with the bad stuff – if you’re constantly looking out for the next bad thing to hit you, it won’t be long in showing up! So, best to focus on the blessings ;-)

Focusing on all the reasons to be grateful also takes the sting out of the not so great experiences. It’s easier to cope with life’s tougher moments, and to value the lesson learned from it, when you know you have plenty to be thankful for.

So, if you’re serious about improving your level of happiness, why not try consciously developing a gratitude habit? During the course of your day, take the time to deliberately notice pleasant things in your environment, and express your pleasure about the good stuff in life more than you complain about the bad stuff (really try to keep the complaints to a minimum).

A great thing to do is to keep a gratitude journal - every day make a list of at least five things you are grateful for. Be thankful for the little things, not just the big.

When you make this a daily practice, you will find yourself consciously looking out for things to be grateful for. This opens your mind to a more positive outlook, and starts to feed into the thought pattern you need to positively affect your feelings. And of course, it attracts more of the good things into your life, giving you more blessings to count and feel happy about. I think that’s what they call a virtuous circle!

By focusing your attention in this positive manner you will open yourself up to experience more of the same, and better. The more gratitude you feel, the happier you will be. Guaranteed!

This post is part of a new series of Happiness Tips published on Fridays. Comments and suggestions are very welcome. What advice would you offer? What works for you when you want to deliberately feel happier?

Keep the Faith!

(a Thought for the Week)

"When you have come to the edge of all light that you know, and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown, Faith is knowing one of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly." ~ Patrick Overton

"Faith is the bird that feels the light and sings when the dawn is still dark." ~ Rabindranath Tagore

"Keep your faith in all beautiful things; in the sun when it is hidden, in the Spring when it is gone." ~ Roy R. Gilson

"Trust your hopes, not your fears." ~ A wise mug in my kitchen cupboard (!)

You can view my Thoughts archive here

Embrace Uncertainty

(a Thought for the Week)

“Uncertainty and mystery are energies of life. Don't let them scare you unduly, for they keep boredom at bay and spark creativity.” ~ R. I. Fitzhenry

“So what do we do? Anything. Something. So long as we just don't sit there. If we screw it up, start over. Try something else. If we wait until we've satisfied all the uncertainties, it may be too late.” ~  Lee Iacocca

“Uncertainty is the only certainty there is, and knowing how to live with insecurity is the only security.” ~ John Allen Paulos

“Relinquish your attachment to the known, step into the unknown, and you will step into the field of all possibilities.” ~ Deepak Chopra

You can view my Thoughts archive here

Leap, and the net will appear

(a Thought for the Week)

“When you have come to the edge of all light that you know, and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown, Faith is knowing one of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly.” -- Patrick Overton

“You block your dream when you allow your fear to grow bigger than your faith.” -- Mary Mannin Morrissey

“As your faith is strengthened you will find that there is no longer the need to have a sense of control, that things will flow as they will, and that you will flow with them, to your great delight and benefit.” -- Emmanuel Teney

“Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.” -- Martin Luther King

You can see my Thoughts archive here