Living Out Loud

I surrendered - and look what happened!

In July of this year I decided to move to the West of Ireland.  A dream of mine for about three years, that I only this year developed the courage to follow through on.  And in August I settled on the perfect town to move to: Westport, Co. Mayo.

I then spent six weeks or so searching for the perfect house to live in.  I had many specific requirements, and needed to be reasonably picky about my new home.  But my pickiness seemed to be paying off when I found the perfect house that not only met, but exceeded all my needs.  I was delighted!

But then it all fell apart at the last minute, and I realised that I had become too attached to the dream of living in that house.  Not only that, but I reluctantly accepted that I had become too attached to the dream of living in Westport.  I realised I needed to detach.

Oh I didn't want to let go!  But I knew I needed to.  So I set the intention to surrender and spent a day and a half singing the song "I surrender all" to myself, over and over.

By the end of that week, everything had turned around and I found myself back on the road to Westport to view another house.  Not quite as "perfect" as the previous one, but which actually turned out to be more perfect for me and where I'm at right now than the more aesthetically pleasing one that had slipped through my hands.

And now, here I am!  Living in Westport.  And I like my little house.  Space-wise and aesthetics-wise it's not quite my dream home.  But it really is good enough, and comfortable enough, and meets all my needs.  And I'm happy in it.

Wherever I live, I make it home.  It's all about the energy you bring to the place.  And those who have visited me so far seem to like the energy : )

The same applies to creating any experience in my life - it's all about the energy I bring to it.  Desperate clinging equals resistance, and keeps what I want out of my reach.  But surrendering my desire, being willing to give up what I really, really want and accept what is delivered to me instead, never fails to bring me exactly what I wanted - although it often looks completely different to how I had originally imagined!

Surrendering is about handing over to Spirit.  Accepting that you can't see the bigger picture, and that goal you're struggling to achieve may not be for your highest good.  Eventhough your ego really wants it, surrendering means being willing to do without it, and trusting that if it's really meant for you, it will come at the right time.  Maybe now just isn't the right time.  And maybe something else - something possibly even better - is what's meant for you.

The sad thing is, that eventhough I know this, I don't easily surrender my desires.  Surrender and detachment are a constant challenge for me.  But I resolve to keep working on it.  It may take me the rest of my life to master it, but I know it's for my highest good, so I'm not going to give up on giving up ;-)

Serve Others

A Thought for the Week

"What we have done for ourselves alone dies with us; what we have done for others and the world remains and is immortal."  ~  Albert Pike

 

"I don't know what your destiny will be, but one thing I do know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who have sought and found how to serve."  ~  Albert Schweitzer

 

"How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world."  ~  Anne Frank

 

"He who wishes to secure the good of others, has already secured his own."  ~  Confucius

The A - Z of Happiness: G is for . . .

Letting go of Guilt

 

I used to say to clients that guilt was a wasted emotion.  But I've since come to realise that it's worse than that.  Guilt is in fact a destructive emotion, as it drains your energy, and fosters feelings of shame.  And shame depletes self-esteem.

 

So, if you catch yourself in the act of feeling guilty, you need to learn to let it go.  I already talked about this somewhat in F is for . . .  (forgiving yourself and others). 

 

"It is probable that guilt is merely disguised fear of retribution, either divine or by the person wronged, which is why you punish yourself with shame and flagellation.  It's a way, thinks your unconscious mind, to make amends so you don't get punished." ~ Barefoot Doctor

 

I don't know about you, but when I examined my feelings of guilt in the past, I realised that the above is true.  I believe in karma, and while I do feel genuine remorse for my (perceived) acts of wrongdoing, fear of them coming back to bite me is never far away either.  But actually, focussing attention on your (perceived) shameful deeds is giving them energy, and increasing the likelihood of your perpetuating actions that give rise to more guilt, or indeed attracting your (perceived) deserved retribution.

 

It's not too promising for your personal growth really.

 

Now I try not to indulge in feelings of guilt.  They don't contribute to the wellbeing of the person towards whom I'm feeling guilty, and they certainly don't contribute to my wellbeing.  Instead, I treat myself with compassion.  I acknowledge the action I took that I wish I'd done differently, identify how I might rectify the situation, and resolve to do better in future.  Then I let go, and move on.

 

That's a choice you can make too.  Of course, you can choose the guilt, shame and self-flagellation.  But it won't do you or anyone else any good whatsoever. 

 

Why not try a different approach instead and see how that serves you?

 

Giving what you want to receive

 

“The game of life is a game of boomerangs. Our thoughts, deeds and words return to us sooner or later with astounding accuracy."  ~  Florence Scovell Shinn

 

The experiences you have in your life are always reflecting your thoughts and feelings - the energy you are emitting. 

 

So if there is something you want to receive more of in your life, try giving more of that to those around you. Give love, money, attention, support and you will receive love, money, attention and support – just so long as you give it from a place of genuine love and caring for others. This is absolutely key.

 

Give what you want to receive, but don't give in order to receive.

 

If you give in order to receive, you will negate the receiving effect. This is because your underlying intention is based in a feeling of lack - that is the energy you’re emitting and therefore you will continue to attract that lack.

 

But when you focus on genuinely seeking to help and serve others, you will discover, in many surprising ways, that you are receiving much of the same - and often much, much more - back into your own life.

 

And another added bonus: when you give what you want to receive, you're less likely to act in ways that lead to guilt ;-)

 

 

Goals  -  but treat them lightly!

Give what you want to receive

A Thought for the Week

"You make a living by what you get. You make a life by what you give." ~ Winston Churchill 

"If you want joy, give joy to others; if you want love, learn to give love; if you want attention and appreciation, learn to give attention and appreciation; if you want material afflucence, help others to become materially affluent." ~ Deepak Chopra

 

"For it is in giving that we receive." ~ St Francis of Assisi

Do unto yourself as you would do unto others

A Thought for the Week

"The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others." ~ Sonya Friedman

"If we spoke to others the way we often speak to ourselves, we'd have no friends!" ~ Duncan Coppock

"You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection". ~ Buddha

Be True to Yourself

A Thought for the Week

"This above all: to thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man." ~ William Shakespeare

"Integrity is not a conditional word. It doesn't blow in the wind or change with the weather. It is your inner image of yourself, and if you look in there and see a man who won't cheat, then you know he never will." ~ John McDonald 

 

"Never follow somebody else's path; it doesn't work the same way twice for anyone...the path follows you and rolls up behind you as you walk, forcing the next person to find their own way." ~ J. Michael Straczynski

 

"Unless your heart, your soul, and your whole being are behind every decision you make, the words from your mouth will be empty, and each action will be meaningless. Truth and confidence are the roots of happiness." ~ Unknown

Self-Exposure

I came across this project the day after I'd posted "As within, so without" as my thought for the week, and in the midst of a kidney infection.  Due to a manic couple of months past, I haven't been blogging, and was promising myself I'd get back to it this week.  The topic started by Mish drew me in...

I know this is true of everyone, but I HATE being sick.  Apart from a cough/cold each winter I'm rarely sick.  And when something else comes along it really pisses me off.  I don't feel like I deserve it because for the most part I look after my health.

But reading other blogger's 'Exposed' posts about why they love their bodies has helped me shift back to an attitude of gratitude for my own body.  I'm appreciating that it always serves me well.  Always!  Even if I'm feeling like it's letting me down, that isn't the case.

I do believe that every illness of the body has a metaphysical cause, and according to Louise Hay kidney problems can be caused by refusing to grow up.

Now two weeks ago I turned 40.  And I didn't have a problem with it, really.  I embraced it and celebrated it.  Or at least that's what I thought I was doing!! 

But I also joked with everyone that I wasn't really 40, I was going along with it for the craic (that's Irish for fun), but that somebody had made a big mistake.  Definitely a bit of a conflict going on...

And so my body, that is usually healthy, is actually serving me well by manifesting a kidney infection.  It has drawn my awareness to an inner conflict I need to resolve.

Divine right action is always taking place in my life.  Only good comes from each experience.  It is safe to grow up. ~ Louise Hay affirmation for my condition (in case you share it!)

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I wrote the above a week ago.  I was pretty much inspired to do it after reading Lance's post.  But it's taken me a week to get the courage to finish it, because to post I had to include the pic.

Eventhough I admired others the courage to post their semi-naked pics, when it came to doing the same myself, it felt a little indecent.  Why is it that I could admire an action in others and criticise myself for contemplating the same?  I detect a little double-standards in my consciosness...

And so, I'm taking a deep breath and posting.  I still feel very uncomfortable doing so, but I also know that the discomfort comes from the need for approval, or to be more accurate in this case, the fear of disapproval.  But I've let fear hold me back so often in my life, and these days I do my best not to let that happen anymore.  I make a big effort to feel the fear and do it anyway. 

So I've joined the ranks.  Here is my body, exposed, as it looks today.

  
 

Right now, I'm ok with how it looks.  But the problem is, I tend to appreciate it more when it looks what I consider to be good, and not so much when I feel like I need to lose a few pounds or tone up. 

And that's not good enough really.  My body deserves my respect and appreciation at all times.  Because at all times it is working for me.  Everything I experience in life is made possible by my perfect body.  And therefore it is always worthy of my unconditional love, be it sick or healthy, thin or not-so-thin.

I'm grateful for that reminder.  I'm also grateful that I'm nearly over my kidney infection ;-) 

And even if I have some more work to do before I'm fully in the 'loving it' space, I'm definitely feeling ALOT more appreciation for my body!

What about you?  What do you appreciate about your body?