A Thought for the Week
A Thought for the Week
We're all pretty protective of our right to lead our own lives, make our own mistakes, learn our own lessons. But how good are you at allowing others the freedom to do the same?
In my life right now, I'm struggling with that. A central character in my life is proposing to sell her house and move to Egypt with her three year old daughter.
And my ego (along with those of all her family) is strongly resisting it. And while I admit that some of that comes from my selfish desire for her to remain in Ireland where I can see her regularly, it's mostly worry and fear for her wellbeing, and the wellbeing of her young child.
Oh, my ego could provide you with a very long list of all the reasons why this plan is misguided and doomed to failure. And your ego would be nodding along in agreement - of that I have absolutely no doubt!
Whenever I allow myself to dwell on the matter for more than a couple of minutes, and especially when I begin explaining to others all the reasons why she should not do this, I get very upset. Thank God for meditation though, because it is helping me to loosen the grip of fear and glimpse a possible higher purpose in all of this.
When I allow my Higher Self to get a word in, I acknowledge that I cannot see the big picture of this person's life, and what I think I know to be the certain outcome of this "drastic" move may not in fact turn out to be the case. I also remember that this three year old girl is more than a child under the control of her mother's decision. She is also a wise soul who chose this other soul to be her mother in this lifetime. And both of these souls also chose to learn particular lessons - and just maybe this move to Egypt is a necessary part of both their journeys.
I do know that. But my ego doesn't like it, not one little bit. But slowly, my ego and Higher Self are reaching a compromise. I'm hoping that this plan is not destined to manifest, that it is not for the highest good of all, and will in the end come to nothing. (In a nutshell, I'm hoping she will see "sense")
But at the same time, I'm trying to accept that maybe it is for the highest good (no matter what I, or anyone else thinks about it). And if it does come about I hope I will look back on it and be glad that it happened despite my current feelings on the subject. I'm remembering most growth comes from the difficult situations rather than the easy ones. And if we're not growing then there's not much point in our being here.
I'm working with this affirmation by Florence Scovell Shinn:
"I do not resist this situation. I put it in the hands of Infinite Love and Wisdom and let the Divine idea come to pass."
It's from The Game of Life and How to Play it (a gem of a book), and it's helping me to loosen the fearful grip of my ego, and allow my Higher Self to deliver some peace of mind.
What about you? How do you cope when you find yourself in similar situations?
Energy
At the end of the day, it's all about energy. You and I, and everything else that exists in the physical universe may appear to have solid form. But it's all an illusion. We are all masses of energy vibrating at different frequencies.
Moods, feelings, emotions, states of being are all energy forms as well. And the energy of happiness is a high vibration, while the energy of sadness, despair and depression are low vibrations. So, in order to be happy we need to raise our energetic vibration and keep it in a high place.
Essentially, everything being discussed in this series is a tool to help you do just that. But if I were to pick out one single action that will exponentially increase your energetic vibration, it's meditation. That will, of course, be dealt with in more detail in M is for . . . - but we are kind of a long way from there yet, so in the meantime why not check out my series on the benefits of meditation.
When we meditate, we raise our energetic vibration. When we practice meditation on a daily basis, we incrementally increase our vibration so that over time we find ourselves to be in a happier place within, no matter what is going on without.
As with anything, the only way to know this for sure is to give it a go yourself (the final post in the series mentioned above talks about getting started).
Ease and Effortlessness
One of the secrets to being happy is to stop struggling with life. To allow things to unfold as they will. That is not to say you can't want certain things - of course you can. But you don't always have to bust a gut to achieve those things (and of course you can still be happy even if you don't achieve them - see D is for... Detach from your Desires)
A better way is to set the intention for what you want, be open to all sorts of ways of that coming about, and then take inspired action.
There's a difference between inspired action and hard work. And it has nothing to do with laziness. In fact, somebody who's taking inspired action to achieve their goals could be working quite had indeed. But, if it's inspired, and coming from the power of intention, it usually doesn't feel like hard work. There's pleasure in the process.
Hard work, by my definition, is work for the sake of the end goal. It's when enjoying the journey doesn't figure much, becuase the destination is the real focus. I know it's important to have a destination in mind - otherwise we could wander around aimlessly for years. But we don't know how long we're here for, we're not guaranteed to arrive at our destination, therefore to experience joy along the way we need to focus more on the journey.
Besides, as Lance recently discussed in Detours on the Path of Life, we're all going to encounter detours along the way. If we're too focused on the end game, we get upset, frustrated, anxious about those detours - states that detract from our happiness. And besides that, sometimes they lead to a new - and even better - destination than where we were originally headed.
Least Effort is one of Deepak Chopra's Seven Spiritual Laws of Success:
"Least effort is expended when your actions are motivated by love, because nature is held together by the energy of love... when your actions are motivated by love, there is no waste of energy. When your actions are motivated by love, your energy multiplies and accumulates."
According to Chopra, miracles are the expression of this law, and he recommends the following practices to apply it:
Acceptance. Accept things (people, situations, circumstances, events) as they are in this moment, rather than focussing on how you wish they were.
Responsibility. This is actually not about blaming yourself (or anyone else), but about focusing on your ability to choose your response. It's about recognising that every "problem" in your life presents you with an opportunity for growth. It's about choosing to remain alert to those opportunities and transforming the situation into something of greater benefit, for yourself and for others.
Defenselessness. Let go of your desire to be right, to be viewed by others as being right, or smart, or wise. Be open to other points of view, be open to changing your mind, and be unconcerned about how others perceive your thinking.
Least effort is the path of non-resistance. And resistance is a seed for unhappiness. Let it go. Allow life to unfold as it will, and roll with it. Even if you don't like what's happening in the moment, your overall wellbeing will be enhanced by the lack of struggle.
Image part of Red Silk Alphabet series by geishaboy500
As discussed in the first post in this series, the Subtle Body is composed of the mind, the intellect and the ego and all three aspects are tightly interwoven.
The mind is the domain of our thoughts, desires and emotions. The intellect is the aspect of ourselves that analyses all information that passes through the mind. And how this information is interpreted is influenced by the outlook of the ego - the image we hold of ourselves and what we project into the world.
Negative thoughts and feelings - or mental and emotional dis-ease - comes about when our ego is rooted in fear. However, it is quite normal for the ego to be fear-centred because it is our self-image, and not our true self (that is our spirit, to be discussed more in the next post in the series).
The ego has forgotten who we truly are, and is living under an illusion that each of us is separate from all else in existence (while the truth is that everything is connected). This illusion of separation gives rise to fear. The ego worries about how others perceive us, and works hard to present an image to the world that it believes will be loved and accepted.
The ego also tends to have fixed ideas about what it needs in order to be happy, and becomes attached to the idea that life has to work in a particular way in order for it to be good. This attachment generates more fear - either that things won't work out as desired, or that it will lose what it has already achieved and wants to hold onto.
In order to let go of the energy of fear, to feel at peace, release anxiety, and love and accept ourselves and others exactly as we are, we need to integrate the energy of love into our daily lives. And this is where meditation can help us release mental and emotional distress.
During meditation, as the mind becomes ever quieter, we move in and out of a place called The Gap. This is the space between our thoughts. It can be a teeny tiny space - especially when our minds are frantically busy - but it does exist. The thoughts in our mind are like the frames on a film strip - while we perceive a seamlessly fluid movie, it is actually the composition of a series of stills.
The Gap is a field of pure stillness, and we are never aware of being in it (though you may - or may not - have an inkling immediately afterwards that you were there). We weave in and out of the gap throughout the meditation process, and in doing so we bring some of the qualities of that stillness back with us into our everday life.
The effect is become less reactive to situtations that previously would have worried or upset us. When practiced regularly, we come to realise that we have a calmer, more peaceful way of being in the world. We find this new way of being helps us to better deal with any crisis that crops up - cos they still will. Meditation doesn't eliminate difficult situations from your life, but it does enable you to experience them differently.
You'll find you don't struggle with situations as much. You may resist them initially (oh yeah, I still don't like to see trouble or strife coming my way), but with a regular meditation practice acceptance of the situation comes more quickly. And with acceptance comes peace and a greater ability to cope with whatever obstacle needs to be overcome.
You may read alot about the possibility of being happy in the moment no matter what crap may be going on in your life. You may even accept that possibility in theory. But if you have yet to experience it for yourself, then I recommend giving meditation a go.
Don't expect to instantly be cured of all fears, anxieties and frustrations - you wouldn't expect a flat tummy from your first session of sit-ups, would you? Meditation is like exercise - you need to do it regularly to see and maintain the results. But once you find the right technique for you, making it a daily practice will be a joy in itself - and the physical, mental and emotional benefits will be an added bonus :-)
Not to mention the spiritual gains - to be discussed soon....
Previous posts in this series:
Could meditation be the solution to everything?
Meditation: the benefits to the physical body
Next post:
Mediation: the spiritual benefits
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