Living Out Loud

The Game of Life - April 09

The Game of Life is a newsletter I send to subscribers by email.  In the past I used to write one feature article and one book review per issue.  This month I changed the format.  I'm now choosing a theme each month and providing links to posts and articles around the web that I've come across and thought my readers would get value from.  And I've decided to post those links here too.  This month's theme is change/rebirth/renewal ~ inspired by Springtime

Clearing clutter can be a very powerful way to bring about a shift in your energy, not only at a physical level but also on the mental, spiritual and emotional levels. I posted on this subject last week: Spring has sprung: time to declutter.

And continuing on the decluttering theme, this article from O magazine walks you through every corner of your home, leaving you with no excuses: 12 Ways to Unclutter your Life

Nadia at Happy Lotus talks about how we can be happier having less rather than more in The Call to Simplify.

Craig Harper has many powerful questions for you in For my World to change, first I must change. And he has some serious tough love for those who want to get out of their own personal Ground Hog Day in Making the Same Mistakes - "Success or failure is not pre-determined, it's me-determined" - you have been warned ;-)

Postively Present talks about how difficult it can be dealing with change and suggests some ways to cope in Change your mind about change.

One Small Step Can Change Your Life: the Kaizen Way by Robert Maurer is reviewed by Anne Pyle on Joyful Jubilant Learning. I haven't read this yet but the review is very convincing and I'm waiting for my copy to arrive in the post...

Also on Joyful Jubilant Learning, Karen Wallace reviews The Age of Miracles: The New Midlife by Marianne Williamson. I am reading this book at the moment and although Williamson speaks to readers in their 50s and 60s I believe younger readers will find plenty of value in it too.

"Instead of feeling that it's all downhill from here (body and soul) Marianne conveys through her warmth and her love that midlife is the time to finally accept our true power. Now, more than ever before, we can change the world." Read the review here.

 

"Sometimes it's the smallest decisions that can change your life forever." - Keri Russell

I hope you'll take the time to check out some of these posts and will find them useful.  And if you have come across any others on the theme of change/rebirth/renewal I'd love to know about them too ;-)

Leap and the net will appear

(a Thought for the Week)

"When you have come to the edge of all light that you know, and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown, Faith is knowing one of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly." ~ Patrick Overton

"You block your dream when you allow your fear to grow bigger than your faith." ~ Mary Mannin Morrissey

"As your faith is strengthened you will find that there is no longer the need to have a sense of control, that things will flow as they will, and that you will flow with them, to your great delight and benefit." ~ Emmanuel Teney

Photo by Two Stout Monks

"Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step." ~ Martin Luther King

Spring has sprung: time to declutter!

We're more than half-way through April.  Have you done any spring cleaning yet?

 

You know what I mean - deeeeep cleaning your home: getting into every nook and cranny.... your oven and fridge, the deepest, darkest recesses of all your cupboards and drawers, your skirting boards, under, behind and on top of every piece of furniture.... AND, dispensing with items you've been hanging onto just in case you need them some day....

 

It's a time consuming business, and not one I enjoy, but the results are soooo worth it.

 

Spring cleaning and decluttering does more for us than the obvious.  Yes, it's wonderful to soak up the calm of a room that's recently been cleaned and cleared of cobwebs and unused, unloved stuff.  But the benefits run much deeper: when we clear out our physical space we also clean up our energy - physical, spiritual and emotional.

 

When you change your inner world it impacts on your outer world.  And when you change your outer world it impacts on your inner world.  Because everything and everyone that exists are inter-connected, despite the illusion of separation we live under.  And so, if you're feeling stuck in some area of your life, by clearing up your physical environment you can give yourself the mental, spiritual or emotional boost you need to get unstuck and get going again.

 

Here comes the science bit...

(if you consider Feng Shui a science, that is - I prefer to look on it as an art)

 

Feng Shui (pronounced Fung Shway) is an ancient Chinese science of balancing the elements of the environment and optimising the flow of energy or chi.  An environment where the energy can flow freely allows for good health, wealth and relationships.  And the converse also applies...

 

Clutter causes the energy flow to stagnate, and the areas of your home that are cluttered represent corresponding areas in your life where your energy may be stuck and circumstances are less than favourable.

 

The simple solution?  Keep your home environment clean, organised and simple.  Don't overcrowd rooms, cupboards or drawers with furniture, books, clothing or any other apparel you can think of.  Have what you need and adorn with items you love.  And nothing more!

 

Poverty Consciousness versus Prosperity Consciousness

 

It's definitely nice to look around you and see that you have plenty - that fosters a feeling of abundance.  But if you have stuff jammed into cupboards and drawers that you can't even access because they're so full - that is unnecessary excess.  And far from fostering abundance, it will actually block the flow of abundance to you.

 

Looking for a hero? Look within . . .

 A Thought for the Week)

Every time you take the risk to be true to your own soul - whether or not you name your action as heroic - your example helps others to do likewise.  When you notice this pattern, it becomes easier to have absolute fidelity to your own path without fear that doing so is selfish.  We can do nothing better for others than model the authentic life."  ~ Carol Pearson 

"The biggest journey can begin with a small step. The biggest tree can grow from a small seed and manifest its own true expression from the power within."  ~  Plamen Lakov
 
"I've continued to recognize the power individuals have to change virtually anything and everything in their lives in an instant. I've learned that the resources we need to turn our dreams into reality are within us, merely waiting for the day when we decide to wake up and claim our birthright."  ~  Anthony Robbins

"Self-trust is the essence of heroism."  ~  Ralph Waldo Emerson

Finding the Hero Within

I was on a mind/body/spirit retreat over Easter and it's stirred up loads of stuff in me.  I've been feeling really unsettled this week as a result.

At the end of this year I will be forty, and I am not living the life I want.  I am dabbling a little in it, but in order to get tot a place where I do it for a living rather than a hobby, I need to give up the security of my three day week job. 

And that's a bit scary at the best of times, but in the current climate to even contemplate it feels like madness!  I do have some financial reserves in the bank to make it feasible to give it a go, but if it doesn't work out it won't be that easy to get a replacement job.

It's been bubbling away in me for the last couple of months, but I was trying to keep my feet on the ground.  Focusing on the practicality of chipping away at my dream two days a week while earning the bread the rest of the time.  But my dissatisfaction around this came to the surface after the retreat because I know that if I'm going to climb this mountain I need to really commit to it.

I have signed up for a 65km multisport event at the end of August which will be physically very grueling, and if I approached my training regime for that event the same way I'm approaching my dream for my work then I would be stretchered off about a third of the way in.  But I'm putting the necessary amount of work in and I'm confident that I will complete that event - though it will still be very difficult.  Surely my Big Dream deserves the same focused attention as this one-off event?

At the same time that I've been grappling with all this, I was also planning my next Thought for the Week around the theme of Finding the Hero Within (inspired by Joanna Young's post on the subject).  And here I am struggling to find my own inner hero!

And then Neale Donald Walshe sent me this note:

 On this day of your life, Hilda, I believe God wants you to know...

...that your fears have stopped you before, but they need not stop you now.

What's the worse that can happen?  And if that happened, what would happen then? And if that happened, then what?

Now...if you give in to your fears, where will that leave you?  Right where you are now?  And if that's where you want to be, why is the other option even a little bit exciting to you?

My intuition works through signs a lot.  Sometimes I get a very strong feeling about something, but usually it's signs in things I read, lyrics of songs or things people say in passing.  To get a direct email that cuts to the hear of my issue is a very strong sign. There's a clear message here for me to release my fears and go for what I really want.

Yes, a very clear message indeed.  But finding the courage to go for it is not the same as knowing it's what I need.  I'd love if there was a magical potion I could drink that would dissolve all the fears...  But then that wouldn't really be heroic, would it?  I've got to feel the fear and do it anyway.

Still, if I could find a cheat's way I'd take it!

Anyone got any tips to share?  How do you flex your courage muscles when the need arises?

Life begins again

(A Thought for the Week)

  "The beautiful spring came; and when Nature resumes her loveliness, the human soul is apt to revive also."  ~  Harriet Ann Jacobs

"Sit quietly, doing nothing, spring comes, and the grass grows by itself."  ~  Zen saying

"April hath put a spirit of youth in everything." ~  William Shakespeare

"Expect to have hope rekindled. Expect your prayers to be answered in wondrous ways. The dry seasons in life do not last. The spring rains will come again."  ~  Sarah Ban Breathnach

Lessons learned from Adversity

Robert Hruzek has asked a question: what have you learned from adversity? 

 

This is a great question, and it didn’t take much pondering on my part, because I believe (I have experienced) that we learn our most valuable life lessons when we’re facing tough challenges.

 

And I’ve learned some very valuable lessons:

 

Adversity has a purpose

 

Adversity doesn’t show up in my life just to cause me bother and upset.  Bother and upset is usually the unwelcome side effect, but it’s not why it’s here.

 

It’s here to teach me something.  Something important.  And I damn well better have a good look for what that lesson is.  Because if I don’t, it’s going to come back, again and again, in different disguises, becoming more and more adversitous (I’m allowed to make up words on my own blog) each time, until I finally do get whatever it is I am meant to learn.

 

Then and only then will that particular lesson pee off and leave me alone – making the way clear for another life lesson to come along ;-)

 

So I’ve learned to stop cursing adversity and feeling sorry for myself.  Instead I ask myself “what is this here to teach me?”   As soon as I ask myself that question my perspective shifts a little, and I start to feel less hopeless, more hopeful even. 

 

Adversity is a gift

 

And I do like gifts.  But to be honest I like the ‘nice’ kind.  Not the adversitous kind.  If I had the choice I would opt for life without strife – who wouldn’t?  BUT I do know that a 100% easy life isn’t for my highest good.  Because (sadly) I usually forget to pay attention to the life lessons when I’m coasting along without a care in the world.  It’s a bad habit of mine, but I generally only ask myself the big questions and learn the big lessons when things go pear-shaped.

 

 

 

“Whenever you’re in the middle of a crisis, stop and say ‘Thank You’, because you know that something better is on the other side.” ~  Oprah Winfrey

 

It never feels like it in the moment, but adversity is a gift.  I know it’s a cliché, but it truly is an opportunity to grow.  It stretches my comfort zone so that going forward less things are as scary as before.  As a result I’m willing to take more risks than before. And that enriches my life more.

 

Adversity is a gift because dealing with it strengthens my resilience and flexes courage muscles I didn’t even know were there.  And once I stop resisting a tough situation, accepting that I have to deal with it, and stretching myself to do so, things do start to get better. 

 

When I embrace the struggle, paths through it start to open up, and often I can get to where I wanted to be – or to an even better place – much more quickly.  And all because of the cursed, unwanted strife.   It often feels like magic, and it has helped me come to believe that everything does happen for a good reason.  Just because it’s not working out according to my original plan doesn’t mean it’s not working out for my highest good.

 

 

Adversity fosters gratitude 

 

Eventhough I don’t welcome the experience, I generally (though usually with alot of hindsight) appreciate the lessons.

 

But adversity also teaches me to appreciate what is undeniably good in my life. 

 

Contrast is important.  If I didn’t know tough times I would take the good times for granted.  I can’t even imagine how I could appreciate my good fortune if good fortune was all I’d ever known.  Consequently, I believe that it is the experience of adversity that makes the experience of gratitude possible (for me at least).

 

So, to all those adversitous experiences that I hope never to repeat, I thank you.  If it wasn't for the various challenging situations in my life I would not now be:

 

 

• a learned optimist (as opposed to natural worrier and pessimist)
• brave enough to put work that is meaningful to me ahead of greater financial security (and so glad I did, because today I would be living with the constant threat of redundancy making that supposed financial security a joke)
• taking responsibility for how I experience every event in my life
• writing this blog
• reaping the benefits of meditating daily and training to be a meditation teacher
• trusting that all will be well, no matter what it looks like - because it's all happening perfectly ;-)

 

That’s plenty to be grateful for!

 

 

Anybody else care to share?  This post is part of a group writing project hosted by Robert.  Click here to find out how to become involved.

 

 

I've also killed two birds with one stone here, as I'm taking part in Darren Rowse's 31 Days to Build a Better Blog project over on Problogger and he asked us to write a list post.  So I reworked this one a little...  The project just kicked off a couple of days ago, so plenty of time to get involved if you're interested.

 

The A-Z of Happiness: A is for . . .

This is the start of a new series of posts, which may take a while to get through.  It is intended to be a series of tips to help improve your inner state of happiness and wellbeing.  26 posts, maybe 26 weeks, or longer...

It will be in chronological order, so we're kicking of with 

A is for...

Accepting the present as it is

Ok, maybe it’s not perfect, but it is your reality for now.  In all probability though, it will not be your reality forever.  As the immortal saying goes, “this too will pass”.

 

However, there is an important universal law to observe which simply states that which you resist persists.  It’s a derivative of the Law of Attraction which in its simplest form is about your experiences in your life reflecting the energy you put out into the world.  That energy comes from your thoughts, and most especially your feelings.

 

If your energy is focused on struggling with a situation in your life, you will continue to attract that struggle.  Resisting your present circumstances in your life usually sets up a mindset of worry about your future, and places stress on your mental, physical, emotional and spiritual well-being in the present.  It reduces the capacity of your inner resources to deal with the situation in a creative, constructive manner.  The more depleted your inner resources are the more difficult it will be for you to cope with the situation, find solutions and move beyond it.

 

When you accept that this is the reality you have to deal with for now, you free up your energy and your inner strength to move through the situation rather than getting stuck in it.  Acceptance is not the same as ignoring the circumstance.  It means acknowledging the full truth about what is going on for you right now, what the gap is between where you are and where you want to be.  From there you can identify what needs to happen in order for you to move in that direction. 

 

Resistance keeps you stuck where you are.  Acceptance empowers you to move forward. 

Affirmations

Affirmations are statements that positively declare that a circumstance or experience you wish to have is already your true reality.  When practised repeatedly, and with intent, over time affirmations can help to reprogramme your beliefs.  When we come to B is for... we'll look at beliefs in more depth, but for now let's just say that whatever you believe to be true will be true for you, and so it is important to positively affirm to yourself that you are as you wish to be and your life is as you wish it to be.

When people first start working with affirmations, they commonly feel silly and fake.  This is because they're affirming the existence of a circumstance that is not yet true for them.  The trick is to ignore these silly and fake sensations and repeat your affirmations anyway.  With patience and practice they will help to bring about a shift in your outlook, perspective and how you feel.  They will help you to relax, release your worries and develop a trust that no matter what happens all will be well.

One of my favourite affirmations when I catch myself worrying about something is borrowed from Florence Scovel Shinn:

"I do not resist this situation.  I put it in the hands of Infinite Love and Wisdom and let the Divine idea now come to pass." 

When I first started working with it, I used to have to recite it over and over before I would start to relax and let go.  Now I just have to use it once and I immediately trust that a solution will come to me at the right time.  And it always does : )

To write your own affirmations, think about how you wish to be or what you want to have or experience.  Then state it in the present tense using only positive terms.  This is important because your subconscious mind does not recognise negative statements and it will reinforce your experience of what you put your attention on whether you do so positively or negatively.

For example, affirming "I am happy and well" will draw your attention to the states of happiness and wellness, but "I am not depressed anymore" will keep your attention on the state of being depressed.  So, no shift from the unhappy state to a happier one.

To get started on affirmations it can help to borrow some great ones that are already out there.  Once you get in the habit of using them regularly you'll be easily able to create your own in an instant to suit whatever need arises.  For some ideas try these resources:

Think Positive! Blog

The Game of Life and how to play it by Florence Scovel Shinn

Your Word is your Wand by Florence Scovel Shinn

You can Heal your Life by Louise Hay

Attention & The Law of Attraction

"Our thoughts create our reality -- where we put our focus is the direction we tend to go." ~ Peter McWilliams

Or to simplify the quote above: energy flows where attention goes!  If you want to feel happier you need to put your attention on the more positive aspects of your life and less attention on the negative. 

According to the Law of Attraction, your attention is an energy that magnitises to you people, things, events and circumstances that match that energy.  So, if you put your attention on things that you love, enjoy and appreciate, you attract more of those wonderful things and even more wonderful things that you will love, enjoy and appreciate. 

And the same principle applies when you put your attention on that which you wish to have less of, or not-at-all of!

Therefore, to be happier, put your attention on the people, events, and experiences that boost your happiness.  Appreciate them (ooh - another A!)  We'll look at this again when we come to G is for Gratitude...

Attitude

"An attitude of gratitude can fend off any saditude."  ~  Karen Salmanson

Attitude is King!  It's what makes the difference between barely surviving challenging times and thriving despite them. 

If you can maintain a positive attitude when the going gets tough, you can actually be happy eventhough some (or even all) aspects of your life suck right now.  I suppose it really ties in with the first point - accepting your situation for now.  Accept it but don't let it beat you down. 

When your attitude is can-do - no matter what happens - then you don't get sucked into a negative thought spiral about the sucky circumstance.  With a can-do attitude you will have positive thoughts, and positive thoughts lead to positive feelings. 

We'll deal with this in much greater detail when we get to T is for....  But for now, the important thing to remember is that your attitude programmes the way you think about things.  And if you want to be happier you need to think happy thoughts.  Kinda simple really ;-)  Such a shame that simple doesn't always mean easy!  But luckily, practice makes things easier.

 

Those are my ideas under the "A" category for imroving your happiness. I hope you'll practice some of these tips, and if you have any others to share I'd love to hear them.

Sow what you want to reap

(a Thought for the Week)

 

"Good thought and actions can never produce bad results; bad thoughts and actions can never produce good results. This is but saying that nothing can come from corn but corn, nothing from nettles but nettles."  ~  James Allen  

 

"Sooner or later everyone sits down to a banquet of consequences."  ~  Robert Louis Stevenson 

"Every action generates a force of energy that returns to us in like kind - what we sow is what we reap.  And when we choose actions that bring happiness and success to others, the fruit of our karma is happiness and success."  ~  Deepak Chopra
                                                    

Photo by Antti