Finding the Hero Within

I was on a mind/body/spirit retreat over Easter and it's stirred up loads of stuff in me.  I've been feeling really unsettled this week as a result.

At the end of this year I will be forty, and I am not living the life I want.  I am dabbling a little in it, but in order to get tot a place where I do it for a living rather than a hobby, I need to give up the security of my three day week job. 

And that's a bit scary at the best of times, but in the current climate to even contemplate it feels like madness!  I do have some financial reserves in the bank to make it feasible to give it a go, but if it doesn't work out it won't be that easy to get a replacement job.

It's been bubbling away in me for the last couple of months, but I was trying to keep my feet on the ground.  Focusing on the practicality of chipping away at my dream two days a week while earning the bread the rest of the time.  But my dissatisfaction around this came to the surface after the retreat because I know that if I'm going to climb this mountain I need to really commit to it.

I have signed up for a 65km multisport event at the end of August which will be physically very grueling, and if I approached my training regime for that event the same way I'm approaching my dream for my work then I would be stretchered off about a third of the way in.  But I'm putting the necessary amount of work in and I'm confident that I will complete that event - though it will still be very difficult.  Surely my Big Dream deserves the same focused attention as this one-off event?

At the same time that I've been grappling with all this, I was also planning my next Thought for the Week around the theme of Finding the Hero Within (inspired by Joanna Young's post on the subject).  And here I am struggling to find my own inner hero!

And then Neale Donald Walshe sent me this note:

 On this day of your life, Hilda, I believe God wants you to know...

...that your fears have stopped you before, but they need not stop you now.

What's the worse that can happen?  And if that happened, what would happen then? And if that happened, then what?

Now...if you give in to your fears, where will that leave you?  Right where you are now?  And if that's where you want to be, why is the other option even a little bit exciting to you?

My intuition works through signs a lot.  Sometimes I get a very strong feeling about something, but usually it's signs in things I read, lyrics of songs or things people say in passing.  To get a direct email that cuts to the hear of my issue is a very strong sign. There's a clear message here for me to release my fears and go for what I really want.

Yes, a very clear message indeed.  But finding the courage to go for it is not the same as knowing it's what I need.  I'd love if there was a magical potion I could drink that would dissolve all the fears...  But then that wouldn't really be heroic, would it?  I've got to feel the fear and do it anyway.

Still, if I could find a cheat's way I'd take it!

Anyone got any tips to share?  How do you flex your courage muscles when the need arises?

Comments

[Joanna Young]

It's not easy is it? The only thing I'd suggest is having a look at the book I quoted from, or an equivalent - it made so much sense to me to think of the hero's journey in relation to the archetypes we're drawing on at any one time. Some times you might need to be a brave warrior, some times to wander... there are many others. I realised that what I need to do right now is trust more, and draw on the Innocent archetype. So I've spent some time creating a kind of vision board with images associated with innocence... and I don't know... it is making a difference, certainly in that I'm trusting my intuition more, and reaching out more to others. Perhaps it might help you get a framework for you where you are in your journey, and which strengths you need to call on... they might not be the ones that are immediately obvious.

Hope that makes sense, feel free to e-mail if you want to ask any more

[Hilda]

Thanks for that Joanna, I will check out that book. I'd say trusting more is what I need to work on too. Trusting that all will be well no matter what path I take, and trusting my intuition enough to follow its lead...

[Nadia - Happy Lotus]

Hi Hilda,

I know exactly what you are writing about because I have been there. So I know the fear and the uncertainty. However, you have to listen to your inner voice and trust you will be okay, because you will. Many people have to work at another job in order to do what they really love. However, if your inner voice is guiding you to focus on your hobby full time, then go for it. Just still the fear and just do what feels right in your heart/inner voice. :)

[Hilda]

Hi Nadia,

Thanks for that. Your comment echoes so many similar messages I've received this week from different corners. The fear is still strong right now, but I think I will manage to let it go. It just might take a bit more time...

[Sara]

Hilda,

I think it's wonderful that you are listening to your intuition. I have a feeling you know what you need to do next regarding your work. Like you said...it's that five letter word "TRUST," which is getting in the way. This word keeps many of us from taking our leaps of faith.

Then again, look at who you are! You've trusted yourself to train for, and complete in, a 65K multisport event, which is no easy feat! Given this,I can't help but believe you possess all the persistence and determination to go after whatever you want! I wish you very good success with both your event and your new life:~)

[master dissertation]

Blogs are good for every one where we get lots of information for any topics nice job keep it up !!!

[Hilda]

John,

I couldn't agree with you more. I have received so much guidance and comfort from the many wonderful blogs out there. Thanks for your encouragement!

Sara,

Thank you too! You're so right about TRUST - To Rely Unto Spirit Totally. I think my ego's grip might be loosening a little :)