Hands up if you abandoned your new resolutions before January was out? Well don’t worry about it too much – you’re not in the minority! A more pertinent question might be, who do you know who ever keeps to their resolutions?
Why do you think most people abandon their great intentions? Here’s what I think: it takes too much doing! And who’s got the energy for that in January?
There’s the flu, and the vomiting bug, and the cold, and the Christmas visa bill to contend with. And this year, add the bloody recession into the mix – if everything else didn’t drag your energy levels down the state of the economy is bound to have done the trick. Wrap them all up in a nice little bundle and the effect is to generally deplete your enthusiasm and spirit.
And New Year resolutions have no chance without enthusiasm. If just the thought of dragging your ass to the gym, or writing your CV or scouring a dating site for the love of your life exhausts you, then the chances of actually doing it are fairly poor.
But instead of being defeatist, why not try a new approach and maybe even get results this time round?
I am not a goal-driven person (goals tend to feel like “shoulds” and I actively resist shoulds), but I do believe your average goal-resistant person can succeed in turning resolutions into reality. It just requires a slightly different method to the traditional one of doing.
And that is one of being.
Take your resolution and look behind it. What state of ‘being’ are you hoping to reach via your resolution? That is where you need to focus your attention. By all means make a plan of the steps you need to take, the tasks you need to do – that does really help. But focus more on who you need to be.
Focus on being healthy, being creative, being productive, being whatever it is that you need right now. Of course, you will still have to take action, but when you decide to be that person, you will act like that person. You will be inspired as to what you need to do, and you will do it with greater ease, energy and enthusiasm.
"Most people believe if they "have" a thing (more time, money, love -- whatever), then they can finally "do" a thing (write a book, take up a hobby, go on vacation, buy a home, undertake a relationship), which will allow them to "be" a thing (happy, peaceful, content, or in love). In actuality, they are reversing the Be-Do-Have paradigm. In the universe as it really is (as opposed to how you think it is), "havingness" does not produce "beingness," but the other way around.
First you "be" the thing called "happy" (or "knowing," or "wise," or "compassionate," or whatever), then you start "doing" things from this place of beingness -- and soon you discover that what you are doing winds up bringing you the things you've always wanted to "have". ~ Neale Donald Walsch
In the AA they say that if you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got. So, before you throw in the towel altogether, why not try something different. And today is as good a time as any to try start afresh.
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