Do you want to be happy?

Do you want to be happy?  Then make the decision to be.  Today.

It really is that simple.  Happiness is an internal state of being, meaning it is entirely non-reliant on external circumstances.  This seems counter-intuitive, I know.  After all, our lifetime experience is of having good things happen and feeling good in response, plus having bad things happen and feeling bad in response.

But the critical factor that not everyone comes to realise, is that your response in terms of good or bad feelings is not in fact caused by the event itself.  Rather, it is caused by how you think about the event.  Your thoughts determine your feelings, and your thoughts – like your feelings – are internal, and therefore completely within your control. 

One of my biggest gripes in life is watching people postpone being happy until some future time.  I call it the I’ll Be Happy When Syndrome: when I achieve this, have that, reach the other.  The great disaster about this approach to life, is that it results in fleeting, temporary experiences of happiness, rather than lasting satisfaction, joy and fulfilment. 

Any goal you achieve in life will very quickly be replaced by another – there will always be more that you want to be, do or have.  It’s a cliché, but the real key to happiness lies in enjoying the journey.  A desired destination is great – it provides a roadmap.  But if you can’t take in the beautiful scenery along the way, you’re cheating yourself of real happiness. 

Enjoying the journey includes the detours, the accidents and the traffic jams.  You could choose to be frustrated or upset about these, or you could accept the situation you’re currently in, decide to relax and deal with it as best you can, and look forward to discovering what the silver lining might turn out to be.  Because there is always an opportunity in every challenging situation.  Just because you’re too blind to see it doesn’t mean it isn’t there!

“When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.” ~ Helen Keller

Being happy is all about your perspective or attitude, and how you react to life’s circumstances.  And while you may not always be able to choose the circumstance, you can definitely the reaction.  You can choose whether to look on it optimistically, or pessimistically.  You can choose whether or not to be grateful for the learning you’re going to receive from the situation.  You can choose to accept it and work with it, or to resist and struggle against it. 

“To be, or not to be – that is the question.” ~ William Shakespeare

In each of those choices lies your decision to be, or not to be, happy.

I wrote this last week in response to an offer by Craig Harper to publish reader's articles on his blog.  Why not pop on over and see what else his readers submitted.

Comments

[Alan]

Wonderful post Hilda :) . I choose to be happy, thanks for the reminder. Have a great day!